10/18/22
Hey.

Lately I've been questioning myself. Shit's been happening lately that I can't explain, that you may not believe. Sometimes life will just slow down or speed up. Sometimes there are large holes in my memory where I just can't remember what I was doing (I have a very great memory). Sometimes I am in the middle of an action and I just forget what I am doing and stay there. confused. Sometimes, I just phase out. For me, it's really easy to just fade out of reality and live in my own mind for awhile, whether it be intentional or unintentional. I just don't know anymore. If alternate timelines exist, I probably have split and swapped one of them.

Anyways, last week I told Izzy that I liked her and she pushed me away. Nice. She even told Eden. Now Eden won't get off my case. It is quite annoying. If I'm being honest, I'm a bit tired of having to work up so much courage to admit to liking someone just for them to harshly reject me. Maybe I should try a different approach? I don't know. Yeah, I guess. Maybe. I. Don't. Know. I mean, of course, I really don't care too much if I get rejected, but it definitely does get old. I take rejection as a sign that that person missed out on the experience, I guess, or maybe they just weren't the right one. I get that, it would make sense after all.

Life has been quiet. This may sounnd like me re-iterating from the last entries, but I'm just going through the motions. it's just a blur. I mean, I'm not quite depressed, but I just am so tired of life. Nothing happens. Nothing. At. All.

It's almost like everything in my life is running on an script, and the timeline is predetermined, like EarthBound. Almost like everything just isn't real. There is a theory that the only thing that you can confirm is real is your own consciousness. It is plausible. What if I am just living in a single-player world, and nothing is real? What if I'm just in a simulation? If it is a simulation, then it can be manipulated. It definitely could make sense, I mean there are definitely some things here that don't make sense, that could almost be classifiede as glitches.

Not much life updates this time.

Again, I ask, what the fuck am I doing with my life?